Dearest Family and Friends:
For the last 18 months your beloved daughter, grandaughter, sister, aunt, cousin, niece, squirrel, and friend has been serving Heavenly Father and His children as a missionary and representative of Jesus Christ in Argentina – a land VERY far away and VERY distinct from that she was used to. As her companions, we spend a LOT of time with her, and have seen her change and adapt to the circumstances here, which she has done very well.... maybe TOO well. That being said, as you now prepare for her exciting homecoming, we wanted to take a minute to warn you ahead of time about a few of the changes so you don`t get worried later on.
While living in Argentina, there are many things that Hermana Churchill had NEVER before done or experiences. First off, in the home:
- She`s never had such poor table manners, so don`t be surprised when she eats everything with a large spoon, wipes her mouth with her hand, and wipes her hand on her skirt. Please forgive her beforehand if you ever catch her sneaking unwanted food into napkins on her lap, plastic-lined coat pockets, or to the dog while you`re not looking.
- She`ll probably eat a ton at lunch and barely touch her dinner. Speaking of eating a ton, she`s never before had to eat so much to the point of making her sick, so please... if she starts to look queezy, remind her that it`s OK not to finish everything and that she won`t offend you, even if you did make it with love and spend your hard-earned money.
- She`s never had such a confusing diet. For the last 18 months she`s eaten everything from cow brains, heart and tongue and bloody pig intestines to hot dogs, ketchup and french fries on top of pizza. Every meal has been deep-fried in cow-fat or drenched in oil and salt, with a loaf of bread on the side. The most ironic part of it all is that dessert is always the healthiest part of the meal! So please just keep it simple... make sure to have the pantry and fridge stocked with lots of sugar cerals, fruit snacks, clean produce, peanut butter, cheddar cheese, bagels, wheat bread, fresh skim milk (not powdered or expired!), clean lunch meat, maple syrup (not from concentrate), tortilla chips and salsa, etc.
- She`s never had every article of clothing become “hand-wash only” so don`t be surprised when every sink in the house is full. Just remind her where the washing machine is and how to use it.
- She`s never had to sleep in a mummy sleeping bag for a year and a half, so please have lots of clean, comfy blankets and pillows ready, and hide anything with a zipper! She`s also never had to rely on a rooster to wake her up, so if she sleeps in late, and then runs around frantically trying to get ready for personal/comp study and the day`s work, kindly calm her down and show her how to use an alarm clock.
- She`s never celebrated so many random holidays yet still had to work, so try not to kill her when on Christmas day she wants to exercise, shower, eat breakfast and study all before opening presents at 10 AM.
- She`s never had so many weird quirks and habits. If she claps to get people to answer the door, wears her flip-flops in the shower, kills bugs with her bare hands, refuses to drink water from the tap, or scolds you for walking around barefoot, just remember: patience is a virtue, and she will eventually adapt.
SPECIAL NOTE: If she spends HOURS playing with the garbage disposal, trash compactor, electric drill, lawm mower, electric stove, toaster, water dispensor, pencil sharpener, blender, or other at-home gadgets, do not be alarmed... It`s totally normal. Also, when she starts sweeping the carpet with a broom, remind her that you do have a vaccuum that will only take 10 minutes instead of an hour.
The next thing you`ll have to be careful about is taking her out into civilized society. Just be patient and try not to get too embarrassed, because just like in the home, there are a LOT of other things she`s never done before living in Argentina, such as:
- She`s never realized how much she loves QFC, Safeway, Albertsons, Smith`s Macey`s, or Fred Meyer`s until now, so don`t be surprised when you take her to a grocery store for the first time and she acts like a child at a petting zoo, running from aisle to aisle and saying “Wow! Look at this!” If she starts talking to herself, don`t worry – she`s doing one of two things: 1) Praying and giving thanks, or 2) Trying to figure out how many pesos are in a dollar and how many kilos are in a pound, and how in the world to convert the measurements from all her Argentine recipes.
- She`s never had to use so many buses or trains, so don`t be surprised when she`s frantically looking for coins in the couch cushions and asking people for 10 ¢ in the street. Remind her that you DO have a car and that she doesn`t need to scrounge for coins anymore. After a year and a half, though, it might be smart to first take her to a parking lot for a test drive before letting her loose.
- She`s never gone so long without being alone, so she`ll probably follow you around everywhere you go and freak out when you`re not withing “sight and sound” of her. You might want to start now to master the technique of just “smiling and nodding” so that when she randomly starts speaking in Spanish or constantly talks about the mission and Argentina in “Caste-yankee” (aka Spanglish), you`ll be prepared.
- She`s never kissed so many people, nor had so many men attempt to kiss her before serving a mission. Don`t be surprised when upon entering a room she immediately goes around and starts giving everyone kisses on the cheek, and then gives another round as she leaves. Oh and boys... if she kisses you, don`t take it personally... it does not mean that she`s in love with you!
- She`s never been so excited to hear a song in English, so don`t be surprised when a hit from the 80`s comes on and she starts singing at the top of her lungs. Just hope you`re not in a crowd.
- She`s never felt like such a celebrity just for having blond, curly hair and blue eyes, nor has she ever gotten so many cat calls, so don`t be surprised when she gives you the death stare just for saying “Hi”
- She`s never worked so hard on the “Day of Rest”, so don`t be surprised when Sunday comes around and she`s ready to go pick up investigators at 7:30 AM, has an extra sacrament talk on hand and has read every lesson in advance “por las dudas”. When she responds to an invitation to pray or to read a scripture to the class with a look of complete panic, it`s probably because she has forgotten how to pray in English and/or has brought her Spanigh set to Sunday School.
As you can see, MANY things have changed while Hermana Churchill has been serving a mission. The biggest change, however, is the change that has taken place in herself. Before serving the mission, she had never had such as incredible, unforgetable experience. She`s never worked so hard, cried so much, smiled so often, or loved so deeply as now. She`s never been so converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ or been so desirous to share it with everyone around her. The last 18 months have been the best of her life, and have truly changed who she is for the better. She`s never before realized how incredibly blessed she is to have amazing family and friends who support her and love her so much, and would like to thank them for every e-mail, letter, package, and prayer. She`s never had so many people she can call “family”, as that truly is what the Argentine people are for her, and she will be eternally grateful for the short time she`s been given to spend with them, and for the friendships and memories shared with each and every one of them.
Well, that`s the best help we can give you. As her companions, we hope that these warnings and tips of advice will come in handy in the final preparations and first few months with Hermana Churchill. It`s hard to believe how fast the time has passed, but the inconceivable has become reality, and believe it or not....
Hermana Deverall Churchill is coming home!!!!!!